Bad News and Accidents

Among all of the things that I am doing (granted as was pointed out to me earlier it's not as much as some people have on their plate) yesterday I heard that my grandmother has two days to two weeks. She's lost 12 lbs. in the past week. It's not any surprise to hear that, I guess, but I think I always just expected a phone call that said, "Grandma passed last night in her sleep." Not that within the next two weeks of my life, she could go at any moment and my attention is drawn to it. I went through a small grieving process, and then that pissed me off because I'm going to go through like four: this one, one when she dies, one at the funeral, and then one every time I think of her for the next few months. She is truly the best woman I have ever known and has had one of the most difficult lives out of anyone I have ever had the joy of knowing. Then last night I wrecked my brother's XTerra. It was icy and I came around a corner too fast, spun, overcorrected among other things, and then jumped the curb and ran into a cement lawn support. Honestly, it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been: only the plastic part (to our knowledge) was damaged. My dad is taking it in this morning to check the alignment because they are driving it 1000 miles again tomorrow as they head home. It's kind of funny in a way, because the one person who would have ever wrecked this brother's car (of all people) is me. And who did it? Me. Still, I was pissed. Surprisingly, no cuss words flew out. All I could say as I was experiencing it was "No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" at the top of my lungs. Then I broke. Then I had to call my brother and tell him. Out of all of my siblings, his is the respect I desire for the most, for two reasons: 1) he has done the most with his life out of all of us, has the most experience, and his respect is hardest to get and 2) he gives me the hardest time out of anyone that I know. I was scared out of my mind to call him, but I did. I was expecting anger, yelling, disappointment, all of the negative things you can imagine, and he kept saying, "Calm down. It's okay." Then he asked if I was okay. I said, "Of course. But it's your baby, and it's...you..." He said, "As long as nobody was hurt. You can fix machines. It's harder to fix people." Those words were honey to my ears. What a great thing to say. Fatherhood has done amazing things to my brother. Then my other brother said later (he was in the car with me), "Sometimes we get off a lot easier than we ought to or deserve." How true is that. It was a blessing for me because I'm not sure what would have happened to me had he not handled it that way. Now I know I will never live it down. But, in about a month or two, I'll laugh about it, I'm sure and be able to handle the crap. Anyway, there's just a lot going on in my life and not enough going on with a certain someone. His fellow law student and my dearest friend told me that they have a huge project due Monday and I have to be patient because we know him to be a slow mover. I'm not even sure of anything, though. There are very small hints, but I learned a long time ago it's dangerous to think the best of them.